Bleach: Character Rescue Shelter
by YenGirl
Summary: Having seen the deaths of several key characters that had us bawling like babies, we are now determined to provide a happier ending for them. Parody and bizarre tongue in cheek humour. Multiple characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone! Yup, time for another set of characters to be rescued. This time, it's from Bleach because my daughter and I would never be satisfied otherwise. Like our previous Character Rescue Shelter for Naruto, please don't expect any epic sagas or thought provoking plot twists as you will be getting simplified solutions, parody and bizarre tongue in cheek humour instead. Hope you enjoy this series anyway *bows*

 **General Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOCness. Severe OOCness. For the characters that is. Mother and daughter are pretty much IC :p

 **Chapter Warnings:** Spoilers for Bleach Episode 291 (Desperate Struggle with Aizen! Hirako, Shikai!).

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Character:** Kaname Tousen

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

\- Chapter Start -

A pair of light purple eyes blinked open, twin eyebrows above them drawing into a frown. There was nothing to see but thick mist everywhere.

But he could _see_ the mist!

Kaname Tousen sat bolt upright and looked around. The last thing he remembered was lying flat on his back with a severed throat. The last thing he said was thanking Komamura and then telling Hisagi he wanted to see his face. The last thing he felt was sadness and regret - wait.

No. The very last thing he felt was this sudden pressure building up inside him... and then waking up here.

Was he dead?

Had Aizen killed him in his final moments?

Kaname bowed his head, the bitter taste of regret in his throat. He hadn't managed to say all that he wanted to Komamura. He hadn't managed to get a good look at Hisagi either, aside from an impression of sharp features and a '69' on his left cheek.

Damn Aizen! And damn Kaname Tousen himself for giving his loyalty and life to him.

Kaname clenched his fists, relishing the bite of his nails in his palms. He had feared a Shinigami's death, but this was far worse - a death full of regrets. And there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it now.

"Komamura, forgive me for deserting you. You were right all along and you deserve a more trustworthy friend. And Hisagi, forgive me for deserting you as well. You deserve a better Captain. I hope you two and the rest of the Gotei Thirteen will be able to stop Aizen."

He didn't hold out much hope for that last one, but he didn't say it aloud.

Standing up, he examined himself - no injuries or ruined throat or Hollow hole in his chest. No doubt his real body was in a far worse condition.. until it turned into spirit particles. He looked up and found the mist clearing. He was standing on a path that led to a small hut in the distance.

How ironic that he had gained back his sight when the two souls he most wished to look upon weren't here. With nothing else left to do, Kaname started towards the hut.

\- o -

Inside the hut was nothing but a long counter behind which sat two bespectacled females. They turned to each other and grinned.

"Are you excited, daughter?"

"Of course, mother! This is our second Character Rescue Shelter where we shall bring selected dead characters from Bleach back to life!"

"And where they shall live out the rest of their lives the way we want them to, complete with happiness and true love!"

The daughter cleared her throat.

"Like I said before, mother, not everyone has to have the same ending."

"And like I said before, daughter, of course they do. Complete with wedding vows and lots and lots of babies!"

The daughter took a deep breath and let it out very slowly.

At the knock on the door, they both looked up.

"Ooh, our very first character," said the mother.

"Come in," called the daughter.

The door opened and Kaname Tousen stood there.

"Hello, Kaname," the daughter chirped. "Come in, please."

Kaname came in and closed the door behind him, his purple eyes taking in the room.

"Where is this place? And who are you two?"

Both mother and daughter smiled.

"Who we are is not important. Where we are is not important either."

"What is important is that you can see! Oh, and that we're giving you an opportunity to continue living. Come closer, please."

Kaname frowned as he approached the counter.

"But I'm dead."

The mother waved an airy hand.

"Easily taken care of. Never mind how. All you need to do is tell us that you want to be alive again."

"Of course I want that. If it's possible."

"Atta boy," said the mother approvingly.

Kaname sighed.

"Even though I should say 'No' since I've greatly wronged my best friend, my lieutenant and the Gotei Thirteen."

 _THWACK!_

"Ow!" Kaname rubbed his smarting knuckles while the mother waved a wooden ruler in his face.

"Should say 'No'?" she repeated with gritted teeth.

"After all the trouble we went to?" added the daughter in a menacing tone.

Kaname blinked and took a step back.

"Ah. Yes, I want to be alive again," he said. "I do have something to tell Komamura, and Hisagi too."

Instantly, the two females were all smiles.

"That's better, Kaname," said the daughter.

"We should totally give you an earful about how you always said you chose the path with the least bloodshed, but ended up doing the opposite," said the mother.

Kaname sweatdropped.

"But since Komamura already lectured you on that, we'll let it slide," said the daughter.

"The first thing you should do upon going back is apologise to him for calling him ugly," said the mother sternly.

"On bended knees, mind you," added the daughter.

Neither of them were smiling now. Kaname's eyes widened in shock.

"What?! When did I call him ugly? _Why_ would I call him that?"

"When you were in your Resurreccion mode," said the mother in a stern voice. "And how would we know why?"

"After all, your big insect form - shedding little black bits, ugh! - was way uglier than Komamura could _ever_ be," added the daughter.

"But - but did I really call him ugly?" Kaname felt more wretched than ever, knowing Komamura was sensitive about his appearance. "I don't remember doing that! And it's not true! He's every bit as beautiful - uh, I mean he's regal! And majestic!"

Instantly, the two females were all smiles again.

"Much better," said the mother.

"I'm not sure about the beautiful bit, but yes, apologise," added the daughter.

"I will," Kaname promised. "Did I say anything bad about Hisagi?"

"No, you didn't," assured the daughter.

"But you could mention what a totally rugged heartthrob he is, with interesting tattoos and scars and wonderful muscular arms!" gushed the mother before clearing her throat. "Just saying."

"Motherrrr! They're Captain and Lieutenant!"

"Ex-Captain, daughter. No offence, Kaname. By the way, 'fess up, you've always wanted rub Komamura's ears and belly, haven't you?"

Kaname felt his own ears burn and was sure they would've twitched if they could.

"Motherrrr! He's a Captain too!"

"He's also big and cuddly and totally huggable."

The daughter face palmed before peeking at Kaname who was biting his lip.

"Whatever," she sighed and reached down to heave a glass jar of tiny pink balls onto the counter, "have some peach pills."*

"Peach pills?" Kaname asked as he held out a hand.

"A cure all for any injuries you have sustained whether they are as minor as a paper cut or as major as exploding into a bloodstain," she explained. She dropped two in Kaname's hand. "Please take them now."

"Exploding bloodstain?" Kaname asked.

"Eheh... what bloodstain?" asked the daughter, her voice an octave higher.

"Who said anything about a bloodstain?" asked the mother in a similar voice.

Kaname shook his head and swallowed the pills.

"By the way, in addition to a brand new body, you will also have perfect eyesight."

Kaname sighed.

"I have lived my entire life blind. I don't deserve having the gift of sight now. Hisagi was right. Having sight has made me blinder than ever."

 _THWACK!_

"Ow!" Kaname rubbed the smarting knuckles on his other hand while the daughter waved another wooden ruler in his face.

"OK, OK! I'll accept sight!"

"Much better," said the daughter with a sweet smile.

The mother pointed to a second door with the word 'Exit' printed on it.

"Off you go now and have a wonderful life with your friends. Don't forget what we said."

Kaname nodded.

"I will most likely spend a good part of that in prison, but I will accept my punishment as long as I have a few minutes with Komamura and Hisagi first, to ask their forgiveness."

The two females gave him mysterious smiles.

"Things will work out, love, never fear," assured the mother.

"By the way, Aizen has already been defeated," said the daughter.

"He has? Who killed him?"

"No one killed him, but after Ichigo weakened him, Urahara sealed him off."

Kaname was silent for a moment.

"You don't stand a chance of killing Aizen so don't bother to try," said the mother.

"And don't tell anyone about us, or how you became alive again."

Kaname nodded.

"Thank you very much for this second chance," he said, giving a deep bow before he left.

\- o -

Kaname opened his eyes to find himself back on the battlefield. Right in front of him were two Shinigami kneeling on the ground, their heads bowed. He recognised their reaitsu straight off - Komamura and Hisagi.

But where was everyone else, now that Aizen had been defeated?

And what was that huge bloodstain on the ground in front of them?

Wait - didn't the daughter mention something about exploding into a _bloodstain?_

Kaname grimaced, realising this must be how he had died... and right in front of those two. Taking a step forward, he cleared his throat.

"Komamura. Hisagi."

The two of them jumped to their feet and spun around, eyes widening in shock. Kaname noted the bandages on both of them and realised their wounds had been seen to.

"Tousen?!"

"Captain Tousen! You... you're alive!"

"Yes, I am."

Kaname took a moment to study his ex-Lieutenant. Yes, he could see why the mother had gushed about his rugged good looks.

"But how are you still alive?" Komamura asked, taking a step closer. "We saw you... you..." he waved a paw at the bloodstain behind him and wrinkled his snout.

"Exploded? Yes, I know," Kaname said soberly. "I've been given a second chance, but I'm sorry, I can't say anything more than that. What I can say, however, is this."

He dropped to his knees.

"Forgive me, Komamura. I was told I had called you 'ugly', but I swear I have no recollection of doing so. In any case, it was a lie. You're not ugly at all. You never were."

Komamura's golden eyes softened, a surprised puff of breath leaving his lips. Then he nodded.

"Apology accepted."

"I never cared what you looked like," Kaname continued, "but I have to say, you look _magnificent."_

There was a definite pink tinge to Komamura's furry cheeks now. Interesting.

"There's no need to exaggerate," he growled.

"I'm serious," Kaname insisted before turning to Hisagi.

"Forgive me, Hisagi, for deserting you. I hope you get to serve a better Captain."

Hisagi nodded and swallowed, looking like he had trouble speaking. He glanced at Komamura who nodded, and then they both rushed forward and pulled Kaname to his feet. In the next instant, he was part of a three way hug, enveloped by two pairs of strong arms.

"I'm glad you're alive, old friend," Komamura said, his deep voice rumbling from his throat.

" _We're_ glad," Hisagi corrected shakily.

Kaname felt his eyes sting and wrapped his arms tighter around his two comrades, the three of them swaying slightly. They only broke apart when they sensed several reiatsu appearing around them.

Kaname turned to face the other battered Captains of the Gotei Thirteen, reading shock, wariness and even hostility in their gazes. He bowed to Commander Yamamoto.

"Captain Commander, I regret following Aizen and I apologise for all the wrongs I have committed. I'm ready to face my punishment now," he said in a steady voice.

"Very well," Yamamoto said. "You will face Central 46 as soon as we return to Soul Society."

Kaname bowed in acceptance, but when he straightened up and saw Komamura and Hisagi's anguished expressions, he felt wretched and guilty all over again.

\- o -

The mother and daughter heaved sighs of relief when the Exit door closed.

"Well, that was easier than I thought," said the mother.

"That's because our zanpakuto are imbued with the power of absolute obedience," said the daughter and patted her wooden ruler.

"Indeed they are," agreed the mother, patting her own. "Now, who's next on the list?"

They both looked at a piece of paper taped on the counter.

"Right." The mother brought her two hands together and cracked her knuckles, a grim look replacing her smile. "I can't wait to tell _him_ a thing or two."

"But he turned out to be a good guy in the end!"

"But he's done so many wrongs!"

"But don't you want a happily ever after ending for him and a certain someone? Complete with romance and true love?"

"... fine."

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** * In the anime Kamisama Hajimemashita, peach pills are the Peach God's special elixir that can heal almost any illness or wound, including a god's.

Thank you for reading! I know some people out there believe Kaname's body exploded due to Soul Suicide, but we think Aizen did it. Can you guess who's next? :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone! Thanks for the alerts and favs. Enjoy this next chapter :)

 **General Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOCness. Severe OOCness. For the characters that is. Mother and daughter are pretty much IC :p

 **Chapter Warnings:** Spoilers for Bleach Episodes 307 (Emergency Situation! Aizen, New Evolution!), 308 (Goodbye... Rangiku)  & 310 (Ichigo's Resolution! The Price of the Fierce Battle).

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Character:** Gin Ichimaru

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

\- Chapter Start -

A pair of eyes opened just enough to reveal bright blue irises and closed again. There was nothing to see but mist anyway.

Gin Ichimaru got to his feet and dusted himself off, noting he had both arms once more.

Was this where dead souls ended up after they died... if they didn't qualify for reincarnation?

He sighed and hung his head. He didn't regret all those years, hiding his true intentions, behaving like Aizen's puppet, cultivating his cold snakelike persona and ignoring everyone's low opinion of him. He didn't regret not telling Rangiku the truth.

He just regretted he hadn't succeeded in the end. He had snatched the Hougyoku from Aizen... not knowing it had already merged with its master and Aizen could locate him wherever he was.

Bottom line - he was dead, Aizen was alive and Rangiku would never get back what Aizen had stolen from her all those years ago.

"I'm sorry, Rangiku," Gin said softly. "Truly, I am."

Opening his eyes, he stared at the mist around him without seeing it.

Would it have made a difference if he had told her the truth?

Would she have told him to just forget about Aizen?

And if he had, would the two of them have spent a happy life together?

 _If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?_

If Rangiku had told him that, he would have said those three words back to her without hesitation... but would she have done the same?

A smile twisted Gin's lips. Not cold nor snakelike, but a small sad smile with the corners turned down.

Too late for regrets.

For the first time in a very, very long time, he felt his eyes sting. Slowly, he raised his arm and pressed his sleeve against his eyes.

Too late for tears... or anything at all.

"Farewell, Rangiku."

Looking around, he found the mist clearing. He was standing on a path that led to a small hut in the distance. With nothing else left to do, he started towards the hut.

\- o -

The soft knock on the door made the mother and daughter exchange looks. The mother quickly put on a stern expression, but the daughter wore an excited smile.

"Come in."

The door opened to reveal a tall thin man in white robes and short silver hair. He walked in, taking in the entire room and the two females sitting behind the counter with slitted eyes.

"Greetin's. Gin Ichimaru at ya service."

"Yes, we know who you are," said the mother. "Don't we, daughter?"

"Indeed. We know everything."

Gin hid his surprise behind a mocking smile.

"My my, how clever of ya," he said. "So, can ya can tell me what I'm doin' here?"

"Do you think this is funny?" asked the mother sternly.

"Do you know what Rangiku is going through right now?" asked the daughter in a similar voice.

Gin's smile vanished at once.

"How do ya know what she's goin' through?" he asked.

"We know everything!"

"Including how ya - I mean, you, kept your grand plan all to yourself!"

"And didn't tell Rangiku your true intentions-"

"And didn't get help from anyone-"

"Which is why you failed!"

"And ended up here!"

They glared at him.

Gin frowned. Getting slashed across the chest, having his right arm torn off, dying and then coming here to be grilled by two bespectacled females was really a bit too much. He made a quick motion with his right arm.

"Shoot to kill, Shinso!"

"AIIIEEEEEE!" shrieked the mother and daughter as the former jumped into the latter's lap. They blinked at each other in surprise as Gin threw back his head and laughed.

"Got ya," he crowed, still chuckling. "If ya two know everythin' then ya should know I don't have my zanpakuto with me."

"You - come here," growled the mother as she returned to her seat.

Gin approached the counter, the mocking smile back on his lips.

"That wasn't a nice thing to do," said the mother with a huff.

"I'm not a nice person," Gin replied.

The mother sighed and turned to the daughter, eyebrows raised.

"Remind me again why we're giving him a second chance?"

"Because you want a happy ending? Complete with true love, wedding vows and lots and lots of-"

"So I do!" The mother snapped her fingers, eyes sparkling again.

"What weddin'?" Gin asked.

"In that case, we'll cut him some slack-"

"Lots and lots of what?"

"... seeing as he just died and all-"

Gin's eyes narrowed. He wasn't used to having his questions ignored either.

"Hado number thirty one - shakkahō!"

Instead of a ball of red flames shooting out from his palm, there was only a small puff of smoke. The two females snickered.

"Oh, Kido doesn't work here," said the daughter sweetly. "Can't have you destroying our place, otherwise how can we send you back?"

Gin opened his eyes a bit.

"Send me back where?"

"Back to Soul Society, where else?"

Gin's eyes snapped wide open.

"Is that possible?"

"Yes."

"But I'm not strong enough to beat Aizen."

"Already taken care of, not to worry," said the mother and waved an airy hand.

"Ichigo weakened him and Urahara sealed him away," added the daughter, waving her own hand.

Gin nodded.

"So Kurosaki was strong enough," he said quietly. "I'm satisfied then. There's no point in me goin' back-"

 _THWACK!_

"Ow!" Gin rubbed his smarting knuckles while the mother waved a wooden ruler in his face.

"No point in you going back?" she repeated with gritted teeth.

"But what can I do?"

 _THWACK!_

"Ow!" Gin rubbed the smarting knuckles of his other hand while the daughter waved another wooden ruler in his face.

"You can make up for all the heartache you've caused Rangiku, that's what," she said.

Gin glared at them and then he dipped his head and sighed.

"I should do that, at the very least," he agreed.

Instantly, the two females were all smiles and sparkly eyes.

"Atta boy! We should lecture you on how to treat her well, but we already know how much you love her," gushed the mother.

"It was pretty obvious since you could never bring yourself to fight her or hurt her," gushed the daughter.

Gin stared at them. Were his feelings for her that obvious?

"Doesn't matter," he said bleakly. "I'll be in prison and... well, I just don't want her to cry anymore."

The two females raised their eyebrows at him.

"Bit too late for that," observed the mother.

"She's crying _buckets_ as we speak," added the daughter.

"So how does my goin' back stop her cryin'?"

They just gave him mysterious smiles.

"Things will work out, love, never fear," assured the mother.

The daughter heaved a glass jar of tiny pink balls onto the counter.

"These are peach pills*," she said and dropped two into his hand. "Take them now, please."

"What do they do?" Gin asked.

"They're a cure all for any injuries you have sustained whether they are as minor as a paper cut or as major as... well, getting slashed across the chest, losing an arm and then getting impaled, all by the same person," she explained.

"Ah."

The daughter then pointed to a second door with the word 'Exit' printed on it.

"Off you go now and apologise to Rangiku for all the heartache you've caused her. Oh, and explain why you did everything," she said.

"I will," Gin promised. It was the least he could do before being imprisoned for... eternity.

"And don't forget to marry her and have lots and lots of babies!"

"Motherrrr!" the daughter protested.

"What? They're practically a canon couple!"

"I know, but..." the daughter trailed off and mumbled, "never mind."

"Thank ya both for this second chance then," Gin said and left.

\- o -

Gin opened his eyes to see Rangiku's crying face above his own, her tears dripping onto him. Slowly, he lifted a hand and touched her cheek.

"Don't cry, Rangiku."

She froze mid sob. Her eyes snapped open and she sucked in her breath, almost choking.

"Gin? Gin, you're alive?!"

"Yeah, I still have unfinished business to take care of," he said and sat up. He was fully healed and had both arms again, but his robes were still torn.

Rangiku sat back on her heels, still stunned.

"What unfinished business? Do you mean Aizen? What happened? And how are you still alive?"

Gin smiled at her, a real smile. Despite her tear drenched eyes and pink nose, she was still the most beautiful woman in the world.

Why had he never told her that?

"Like tellin' ya why I joined Aizen," he replied, side stepping her other questions.

Rangiku stared at him as she palmed away her tears, nodding.

Gin touched a lock of her hair, tucking it behind a delicate ear.

"And tellin' ya I'm so sorry for all the hurt I've caused."

More tears spilled over as Rangiku nodded again, fingers pressed to her mouth.

It was on the tip of Gin's tongue to confess his love for her right there and then, but he couldn't. Not when he was facing a life sentence at best or losing his life - again - at worst. Since they were alone right now, he placed his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes.

"The day I first met you was also the day I first saw Aizen," he began.

\- o -

 _Some time later..._

"Damnit, Gin, why didn't you tell me?!" Rangiku was shouting. "Things could've been so different!"

"I know, I'm sorry," Gin said quickly. He had never seen her look so furious.

Rangiku snorted and looked to the side, breathing quickly. Then she exhaled and shook her head before turning back to him.

"I love you," she said and took a step closer, cupping his face with her hands.

Gin froze, feeling her warm breath on his face, the sweet anticipation of their first kiss as they drew closer and closer... until the sudden surge of powerful reiatsu slammed into his senses, making him jerk backwards.

Surrounding them were the other Captains and Lieutenants of the Gotei Thirteen, all of them looking the worse for wear, and glaring at him with hostile eyes.

"Ah. Looks like my time is up," he said, standing up and pulling Rangiku to her feet. She looked devastated and then to Gin's utter shock, she pulled him close and kissed him full on the mouth.

"I love you," she whispered and stepped back, her head held high.

Gin swallowed hard and turned to Commander Yamamoto.

"Captain Commander, I surrender," he said in a steady voice.

"Very well," Yamamoto said. "You will face Central Forty Six together with Aizen and Tousen as soon as we return to Soul Society."

So Tousen was still alive?

Gin nodded, but his resolve faltered when he saw Rangiku's anguished face. The two females had said things would work out, but he still had no idea how to stop Rangiku from crying.

\- o -

 _The next day..._

Rangiku and Shuuhei were well on their way to getting drunk.

For Rangiku, having the man she loved die in front of her, and then come back to life to confess what she had most wanted to hear, and then be arrested to stand trial... well, she was sure it entitled her to all the _sake_ in Soul Society.

For Shuuhei, having the captain he looked up to die in front of him - in the most shocking way, he might add - and then come back to life to confess what he and Captain Komamura had most wanted to hear, and then be arrested to stand trial... well, he was entitled to all the _sake_ too. Or at least half of it.

In mutual desperation, they had both thrown themselves at Commander Yamamoto's feet this morning to beg for mercy for their fellow comrades, but to no avail. He had no power over Central Forty Six and besides, Gin and Tousen were 'traitors who must be treated as such whatever their reasons might be'.

"It's too late," Rangiku hiccuped tearfully, staring at the empty bottle in her hand.

"I know," Shuuhei agreed heavily, staring cross eyed at his own bottle.

They both reached for the next unopened bottles.

\- o -

The next morning found the two of them - with raging headaches and bloodshot eyes - banging on the door of Central Forty Six where the sentencing was going on, demanding to be let in.

Komamura stood in the shadows of the next building, his heart a heavy weight in his chest. He wanted to tell Hisagi it was futile to protest and it wasn't doing his reputation as Lieutenant any good... but truth was, he wanted to be right there beside him. He was sure he could break down the door...

He glanced at Captain Hitsugaya beside him, arms folded across his chest and lips pressed thin. Hitsugaya may not be on Ichimaru's side, but Komamura knew he sympathised with Matsumoto, his Lieutenant.

The sudden appearance of a slender masked figure behind Hisagi and Matsumoto made the two Lieutenants whirl around. After a few moments, they nodded and turned around as if providing lookout as the door burst open and the intruder disappeared inside. Komamura's keen ears soon picked up the faint sounds of what sounded like a skirmish. He took a step forward, but Hitsugaya thrust out an arm, blocking his way.

"Do you not see what is happening, Hitsugaya?" he growled.

"We're Captains, Komamura. We're responsible for stopping and questioning any suspicious figures we see in Sereitei... if we see them," Hitsugaya replied with a meaningful look.

Komamura blinked.

"So we shouldn't be here?"

"Yes, I believe our presence will not help anything," Hitsugaya replied.

The two of them turned to leave. Out of the corner of his eye, Komamura saw the masked intruder appear again with Kaname and Ichimaru, their hands still bound, before spiriting them away. Matsumoto and Hisgai went off as well after a quick look around.

"Keep moving, Komamura," Hitsugaya said, sounding very serene.

Komamura nodded, his heart was considerably lighter as the two of them left the place.

\- o -

 _Nine days later..._

"Komamura, Hisagi."

The two in question turned to see Hitsugaya, Rukia Kuchiki and Matsumoto approaching them.

"Ichigo Kurosaki has finally woken up," Hitsugaya said. "He and his friends are returning to the Human World. Kuchiki and Matsumoto are going with them."

"Planning a shopping spree?" Shuuhei raised an eyebrow at Rangiku who just smiled in response.

For the past week or so, the two of them had speculated endlessly over Kaname and Gin's miraculous rescue. It was far better than a life sentence in prison, but they had no idea where their friends were now... and they missed them.

"Could you two accompany Matsumoto to the Human World?" Hitsugaya asked. "She'll buy out the shops otherwise."

"Captain...!" Rangiku's protest was half-hearted since that _was_ sort of her plan.

"I have no interest in shopping," Komamura growled in annoyance.

"Trust me, you won't be sorry," Hitsugaya said with a meaningful look, but refused to say anything further.

\- o -

Once in the human world, they parted ways, Rukia following Ichigo and his friends while Hitsugaya led Komamura, Hisagi and Matsumoto in another direction.

"Why are we here?" Rangiku asked as they stopped in front of Urahara's shop. Then she froze, having sensed two familiar reiatsu coming from inside, one of them very dear to her. She whipped around to see Komamura and Shuuhei looking just as stunned.

The door opened and Kisuke Urahara stood there smiling widely, fan in hand.

"Hello, hello! What good timing, dinner should be ready- oops!"

He stepped deftly to one side as Rangiku, Komamura and Hisagi charged past him, throwing out distracted apologies.

"Urahara-san! Sorry!"

"Urahara-san! Please excuse our bad manners!"

Hitsugaya just shook his head and sighed.

\- o -

Rangiku, Komamura and Hisagi slammed to a stop at the open doorway of the kitchen.

Gin Ichimaru and Kaname Tousen were both frozen in place and staring at them, the former in the act of slicing vegetables and the latter stirring a large pot on the stove.

"Gin!"

"Tousen!"

"Captain Tousen!"

It was a good thing Urahara's kitchen was big and spacious. Ichimaru dropped the knife, caught Rangiku in his arms and swung her around, laughing, while a few feet away, Kaname was being hugged by his good friend and his former Lieutenant.

If any happy tears were shed in the reunion, Urahara and Hitsugaya pretended not to see any of it as they stood in the doorway, smiling.

\- o -

The mother and daughter squealed happily as they stared at the small TV screen on the counter.

"Wasn't that the best reunion ever, daughter?" The mother blew her nose happily. "So wonderfully romantic!"

"Only the couple was romantic, mother. The other three males are just friends," said the daughter.

"Not just friends, I'm sure."

"Good friends then."

"Not just good friends, I'm positive."

"Besties?"

"I think they'd make a fantastic threeso-"

"Gah! Let's just see who's next," interrupted the daughter.

They both looked at the piece of paper taped on the counter.

"Oh, it's her," said the mother. "She wasn't very friendly, was she?"

"But she was a good person!"

"You mean a good modified soul..."

"... and a Shinigami too!"

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading, we'd love to know what you think so please tell us. And can you guess who's the next character? :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone! Enjoy this next chapter :)

 **General Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOCness. Severe OOCness. For the characters that is. Mother and daughter are pretty much IC :p

 **Chapter Warnings:** Spoilers for Bleach Episodes 338 (Kon's Thoughts, Nozomi's Thoughts).

 **Appreciation:** Kudos to **Guest** who correctly guessed this chapter's character.

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Character:** Nozomi Kujo

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

\- Chapter Start -

A pair of burgundy eyes opened and stared at thick white mist.

Nozomi sat upright and looked around, the corners of her mouth turning down in a sad smile. She fancied she could still feel Kon's soft plushie body against her... that pervert, she thought fondly.

She wished she could have stayed with him and Ichigo, Ishida and everyone else. She had never had friends before, never realised how warm and needed it made her feel. Now she wished she hadn't spent all her time trying to push them away and rebuffing their offers of friendship instead of savouring each moment while it lasted.

Thank goodness they were just as stubborn as she was and never gave up on her... especially Kon.

Nozomi bit her lip. While Ichigo and the others were all great, it was _Kon_ she missed the most, him with his flirtatious nature and his insistence on wanting to know her. He cared for her - keeping an eye on her, sticking up for her, defending her even when stuck as a small, helpless plushie. And he was a modified soul... just like she was.

Unlike him though, she was dead. Just like she had told Ikkaku, she was willing to die fighting to save her friends... and she had.

With a sigh, she stood up and looked around again.

Where was Inaba?

He had disappeared just minutes before her so he should be here too. She had promised to be his friend from now on; at least neither of them would be alone. After all, they were two halves of the same person, Oko Yushima.

"Inaba," she called. "Are you here?"

"Nozomi." Inaba Kagerouza appeared out of the mist.

"There you are." Nozomi tried to smile, but failed.

"I'm sorry you were parted from your friends," Inaba said stiffly. "And maybe it's too late, but... I'm sorry for all I've done too."

Nozomi was relieved to see he no longer looked angry. She smiled at him again and it felt a bit more natural this time.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. You were the vengeful half of Yushima. It was his rage you were channeling."

Inaba just shrugged, he didn't look very convinced.

"Well, at least we have each other," she reminded him and tried not to think that that was all she had now. No Kon... or Ichigo... or Inoue... or anyone else. Not even her katana or her newfound Shinigami powers.

No. She couldn't think of all that anymore or she would break down in tears. Taking a deep breath, she looked around again. The mist was clearing and they were standing on a path that led to a small hut in the distance.

"Shall we?" she asked, motioning to the hut. Inaba nodded and they both started towards it, neither of them smiling.

\- o -

The knock on the door made the mother and daughter sit up and smile.

"Come in."

The door opened to reveal a petite girl with green hair and burgundy eyes, and a tall thin man with green and yellow hair and brown eyes.

"Hello, Nozomi," greeted the daughter with a bright smile.

"And Inaba," greeted the mother without a smile. "Come in, you two."

Nozomi and Inaba approached the counter, looking around them.

"Who are you two?" Nozomi asked.

"And where is this place?" Inaba asked.

"Who we are is not important. Where we are is not important either," replied the mother with a shrug.

"Nonsense," declared Inaba, resting his hands on the counter. "I demand to know-"

"What is important is that we're giving you an opportunity to continue living, Nozomi," interrupted the daughter, ignoring Inaba.

"But I died," Nozomi said. "And so did Inaba."

"Easily taken care of, love," said the mother. "Just tell us, do you want to go back or not?"

Nozomi opened her mouth and closed it again. Then she shook her head.

"AIIIEEEEEE!" shrieked the mother and daughter as they clutched at each other.

"Why ever not?! Do you know how heartbroken Kon is?"

"And how sad everyone else is too?"

Nozomi dipped her head.

"I miss Kon and I do want to go back," she admitted. "But I also made a promise to Inaba to be his friend."

"Yes, you did, didn't you?" said the daughter with a sigh. "Too bad, really."

"In that case," said the mother, taking out something from under the counter.

 _THWACK!_

"Ow!" Inaba rubbed his smarting knuckles while the mother waved a wooden ruler in his face.

"That's for the promise Nozomi made you," she said.

"What? But I didn't force her to make it," Inaba protested.

 _THWACK!_

"Ow!" Inaba rubbed the smarting knuckles on his other hand while the daughter waved another wooden ruler in his face.

"That's for being so pathetic that she felt she had to make that promise," she said.

"What?!"

"Inaba's right, he didn't force me at all," Nozomi said hurriedly, taking a prudent step backwards. "But I can't go back otherwise he'll be all alone."

Inaba gave a righteous nod, but also took a step back when the mother and daughter tapped their wooden rulers against their palms meaningfully.

"So... thank you for the offer, but I really can't-"

"What if we sent both of you back?" suggested the mother.

"That way, Nozomi gets a second chance at life while keeping her promise," added the daughter.

"What am I - chopped liver?" Inaba asked indignantly, but all three females ignored him.

"Can you do that?" Nozomi asked with an eager smile.

"Turn him into chopped liver, you mean?" the daughter asked. "I can try."

"Now wait a-"

"No, bring us back, I mean," Nozomi explained hastily.

"Of course, love," the mother assured her.

"Even though Inaba here doesn't deserve his second chance," said the daughter.

Inaba opened his mouth, caught Nozomi's head shake and closed it again.

"In that case, we accept. Thank you so much!" Nozomi bowed, yanking on Inaba's arm to get him to do the same.

"Why should I thank them?" he hissed at her. "I'll be thrown into prison for threatening to destroy Seireitei! Not to mention making _reigai_ of all the Captains and Lieutenants!"

The mother and daughter gave him mysterious smiles.

"Yes, you did, didn't you," said the mother in a placid voice.

"But things will work out, never fear," assured the daughter. She bent down and heaved a glass jar of tiny pink balls onto the counter.

"These are peach pills*," she said and handed one each to Nozomi and Inaba. "Take them now, please."

"What do they do?"

"They're a cure all for any injuries you have sustained whether they are as minor as a paper cut or as major as... well, getting split into two bodies again and then turning into sparkly dust," she explained. "In other words, they will create new bodies for you."

"Will I still have my Shinigami powers?" Nozomi asked.

"Of course you will," said the daughter with a smile. She pointed to a second door with the word 'Exit' printed on it.

"Off you go now and have a happy reunion with Kon and all your friends!"

"You should date Kon, by the way," said the mother with a wide grin. "He's totally in love with you and you two would make a great couple!"

Nozomi blushed.

"That's enough, mother," said the daughter. "Besides, he occupies a lion plushie."

"And you two should totally marry and have lots and lots-"

" _Lion plushie_ , mother! Remember?"

Nozomi's blush deepened.

"Wait - does that mean Nozomi will leave me alone after all?" Inaba asked, frowning. He didn't seem at all perturbed about the idea of dating plushies.

The mother and daughter glared at him.

"She promised to be your friend," hissed the mother. "That doesn't mean she doesn't have her own life to lead."

"Did you expect her to stick to your side twenty four seven?" asked the daughter.

"Ah. Right," mumbled Inaba. "Don't worry about me, Nozomi. I'll be in prison anyway."

The mother and daughter rolled their eyes at each other.

"He's the third character who thinks he'll be thrown into prison the moment he goes back," muttered the mother.

"Er... that's because we've been rescuing the questionable ones," muttered the daughter back.

"Riiiight."

"What's that all about?" Nozomi asked, her head tilted to one side.

"Nothing!" chorused the mother and daughter. "Things will work out, don't worry! Off you go now, both of you!"

"Alright. Thank you again," Nozomi said with another bow. "Let's go, Inaba."

She couldn't wait to see everyone again - Kon, Ichigo, Inoue, Ishida, Chad, Rukia, Renji... everyone!

\- o -

Nozomi opened her eyes and sat up, looking around. Inaba was just sitting up beside her and their eyes met.

"Was I dreaming?" he asked, sounding uncertain.

Nozomi shook her head and got to her feet, brushing herself off.

"No, you weren't because I'm here too," she said and looked around. "We're back in Seireitei."

They stood some thirty feet away from the group of Captains and Lieutenants... which meant Kon should be there too, in his battered plushie form with his right arm torn off.

Nozomi smiled and started walking towards them.

"Wait," Inaba said, trying to grab her hand.

"Those two said things would work out and I believe them," Nozomi told him. "Come on!"

Before they knew it, the Captains noticed their presence, and in seconds, they were surrounded by everyone.

"Nozomi! You're back!"

Nozomi laughed and caught Kon when he launched himself at her, squeezing him to her chest.

"Yes, I'm back," she whispered, feeling her eyes smart.

"I-I don't believe - how..." Kon sounded like he was near tears even though Nozomi knew plushies didn't have tears to shed.

"Never mind how," she said and held him at arm's length, smiling through her tears. "Just don't think I'll hug you like this all the time, you... pervert."

"A man can live in hope, right?" Kon wore a sappy smile and sniffed.

"Nozomi, you're alive!"

"Where did you come from?"

Nozomi looked around at all the happy, excited faces smiling at her and smiled back. Then someone cleared his throat. She turned to Captain Yamamoto and bowed.

"I am happy you are alive, Nozomi," said the Captain Commander.

"Thank you, sir."

"In return for your help, you are welcome to join any of the Gotei 13 divisions as a seated officer," he continued.

"Thank you, sir."

"But s for you, Kageroza Inaba." Yamamoto's voice turned cold and stern.

Nozomi's heart sank at the hostile looks the other Captains and Lieutenants were giving Inaba.

Inaba bowed.

"Captain Commander, I regret all my previous actions and I surrender," he said in a steady voice.

"You too?" Yamamoto said in a strangely resigned tone. "Very well, you will face Central Forty Six tomorrow."

As Ichigo exchanged grim looks with his friends, Captain Kurotsuchi stepped forward.

"With all due respect, Captain Yamamoto, Kageroza is a brilliant scientist."

Yamamoto turned to him.

"So?"

"The Twelfth Division could do with another competent mind."

The Captain Commander's eyebrows drew together.

"Would you be accountable for his actions, Mayuri?"

"Of course," Captain Kurotsuchi said before fixing Inaba with a stern look.

"You'd better be worth my time," he warned.

Inaba stared at him and then bowed.

"Thank you, Captain Kurotsuchi."

He turned to Nozomi and they shared a smile. Just like the mother and daughter had predicted, things had worked out - Nozomi would continue to be his friend thereby keeping her promise yet she would have her own life to lead.

\- o -

The mother and daughter were looking at the small TV screen on the counter. They smiled happily at Nozomi and Kon's reunion and nodded in satisfaction at Inaba's reprieve.

"That went quite well, didn't it, daughter?" said the mother.

"Nozomi can have her cake and eat it too," agreed the daughter. "I just hope Kon won't spend the rest of his life in that lion plushie form."

"I know!" The mother shuddered. "They won't be able to do _anything_ then!"

"Gah! Let's see who's next," suggested the daughter, blatantly changing the subject.

They both looked at the piece of paper taped on the counter and then smiled at each other.

"Oh, we have to rescue both of them!" said the mother.

"I know, they were such a cute couple!"

"Not to mention a certain Shinigami can finally put her feelings of guilt to rest."

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading. We're sure you can guess who are the next two characters so please tell us :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone! Enjoy this next chapter :)

 **General Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOCness.

 **Chapter Warnings:** Spoilers for Episode 42 (Yoruichi, Goddess of Flash, Dances!), 49 (Rukia's Nightmare)  & 342 (Thank You).

 **Character:** Kaien Shiba  & Miyako Shiba.

\- Chapter Start -

A pair of aqua coloured eyes opened and Kaien Shiba sat up. He looked at the thick white mist around him and sighed.

He was dead, but he was glad about two things. The first was that he would be reunited with his beloved Miyako again. The second was that he hadn't died alone, thereby allowing a part of his heart to live on in Rukia Kuchiki since she was with him at the end. It was a heavy burden for her to bear though, killing her senior officer in order to destroy the Hollow who had possessed him and Miyako, and killed so many officers of the Thirteenth Division.

Kaien inhaled sharply. Captain Ukitake was now without a Lieutenant (Kaien himself) _and_ a Third Seat officer (Miyako). With the poor man ill most of the time, losing his top two officers did not bode well for the Thirteenth Division.

Kaien bowed his head, tasting the bitterness of regret.

"Forgive me, Captain Ukitake. You gave me permission to go after Metastacia and you allowed me to fight for my honour... and I repaid you by dying instead."

There wasn't anything he could do about it now though, except hope that the rest of them would rally around Captain Ukitake and give him their fullest support.

"Kaien? Is that you?"

Kaien's head snapped up. There, standing in front of him was Miyako, his late wife. The most beautiful, talented and kind woman in the world, whose radiant smile was rapidly turning into a look of dismay.

"Oh no. You died too?"

Kaien held out his arms and they embraced tightly, her face buried in his shoulder and his lips pressed to her hair.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Miyako. I wasn't able to exact revenge for your life and the lives of our comrades."

Miyako pulled back and forced a smile despite the tears in her eyes.

"I'm sure you did your best. But is that Hollow still alive? And who did you leave a part of your heart with? Captain Ukitake?"

Kaien shook his head, gently thumbing away a tear slipping down Miyako's cheek.

"Rukia Kuchiki. She insisted on coming with the Captain and myself and... it was she who killed the Hollow after it had - had..."

"After it had possessed you, like it had possessed me?" Miyako guessed and gave a sad smile. "Poor girl. She must be devastated."

Kaien just nodded. They were silent for a while, seeing similar regrets in each other's eyes.

"I wish I could have had a longer life with you," Miyako whispered.

"I wish the same thing," Kaien said, touching his forehead to hers. "But I swear I will find you again after we're reincarnated, Miyako. I swear it!"

They shared another hug and a heartfelt kiss before looking around them. The mist had cleared and they were standing on a path which led to a small hut in the distance. Hand in hand, they walked towards it with heavy hearts.

\- o -

At the single knock on the door, the two females behind the counter exchanged excited smiles.

"It's them!" squealed the mother.

"Come in!" squealed the daughter.

The door opened to reveal a man with spiky black hair and aqua eyes, and a beautiful woman with long dark hair and dark eyes.

"Hello. Kaien Shiba, Lieutenant of the Thirteenth Division of the Gotei 13, at your service."

"Miyako Shiba, Third Seat Officer of the Thirteenth Division of the Gotei 13, pleased to meet you."

"Welcome, you two," chirped the daughter.

"Come in, loves," urged the mother.

Kaien and Miyako walked in, looking around at the otherwise barren hut.

"So..." Kaien began.

"Never mind who we are," said the mother hastily.

"Or where this place is," added the daughter. "What is important is that we are giving you an opportunity to go on living."

Kaien and Miyako looked at each other and rushed up to the counter, their eyes wide.

"What did you say?"

"We can go back?"

"But how is that possible?"

"Never mind how," said the mother, "just know that you can."

"And you want to, don't you?" prompted the daughter.

Kaien and Miyako exchanged a startled look and then said, "Of course we want to!" in unison.

The mother and daughter beamed along with them.

"Bless you both for making our jobs that much easier," said the mother.

"Why would anyone say no?" Miyako wondered.

"You'd be surprised," said the daughter and rolled her eyes.

"What about our other colleagues in the Thirteenth Division?" asked Kaien. "They died around the same time we did. Can you bring them back too?"

The mother and daughter sweatdropped and shook their heads.

"Sorry, no can do," apologised the mother.

"Oh."

Kaien and Miyako's smiles faded.

"But Captain Ukitake will be very happy to see you both again," reminded the daughter. "He's such a sweetheart."

"Yeah, that he is," agreed Kaien.

"Did you know he refused to punish Ganju and Hanatarou for trying to rescue Rukia?" said the mother.

"Too much info, mother...!"

There was a moment of shocked silence as Kaien and Miyako both gaped at them.

"Ganju?" repeated Kaien blankly. "As in my baby brother, Ganju Shiba?"

"And Hanatarou?" repeated Miyako in the same tone. "As in Fourth Division Seventh Seat Hanatarou Yamada?"

The mother and daughter sweatdropped again.

"And why did they have to rescue Rukia?" Kaien and Miyako asked in unison.

"Oh! Uhm, long story," said the mother and waved a hand. "Very long."

"Too long to tell now so you'll find out everything when you get back," added the daughter. "Everyone will be so happy to see you including your siblings Kuukaku and Ganju, and of course, Rukia too."

She took out four little pink balls from a large glass jar and handed two each to Kaien and Miyako.

"Peach pills, a cure all for any injuries sustained just before you came here, whether as minor as a paper cut or as major as being possessed and then eaten by a Hollow. These will create new bodies for you two since your old ones can't be used anymore."

Kaien and Miyako swallowed the pills, still looking wary.

"By the way," said the mother. "You two will be going back after a timeskip."

"Ah. So that's why certain events have already happened?" Kaien asked.

"Yup. But not that long a timeskip in Shinigami years, so no worries," added the daughter.

Kaien and Miyako looked at each other, and then Kaien gave a crooked smile and brought her hand up to his lips, his eyes adoring her.

"I won't have anything to worry about, as long as you're by my side," he vowed.

"Same here," Miyako said, getting lost in her husband's eyes.

Two loud and high pitched squeals sounded and Miyako quickly snatched back her hand, blushing.

"Aren't you two the sweetest!" gushed the mother.

"I know, right?" squeaked the daughter.

"In fact, you two should make the most of it," continued the mother in a brisk tone, eyes gleaming behind her glasses.

"Here we go again," muttered the daughter.

"Go forth and have lots and lots of little Shinigami babies!"

"I knew it," sighed the daughter as Kaien and Miyako blushed again.

"I'll be cheering you two on!" said the mother.

"Yeah, yeah," mumbled the daughter and waved a hand at the Exit door which swung open. "Take good care of yourselves and Captain Ukitake, OK?"

"Don't forget to see Rukia and set her mind at ease. And don't tell anyone about us," added the mother.

"Very well. Thank you so much for this opportunity," Kaien said and bowed.

"Yes, thank you," Miyako said and bowed as well.

With a final wave, they went out the Exit door hand in hand, smiling happily.

\- o -

When Rukia returned to Soul Society, it was with a heavier heart than when she had gone to the Real World.

Ichigo had lost the last bit of his Shinigami powers. No doubt he would still be able to see Rukia, Renji and the other Shinigami if they used _gigai_ , but it wouldn't be the same.

Looking up, Rukia saw the familiar white buildings of Seireitei, but the beautiful sight didn't bring a smile to her face. She felt drained of energy and disheartened. She would just go back to Kuchiki Manor and rest...

"Oi! Kuchiki!"

Startled out of her thoughts, Rukia blinked and looked around. That voice sounded so familiar... then she saw four figures walking towards her and froze. She recognised Kuukaku Shiba and her younger brother Ganju, but it was the other two people with them, clad in black Shinigami robes that... that...

"Kaien-dono?" she whispered in disbelief. "Miyako-dono?"

Was she dreaming?

How could her former Lieutenant and Third Seat officer be alive after all these years?

Especially Kaien-dono whom she had stabbed with her own sword after he was possessed by that Hollow?

"It is me, Kuchiki," Kaien said, his face solemn. "Miyako and I have been given a second chance at life. I'm so sorry about the burden I put on you and how long you've had to shoulder it."

"Kaien-dono," Rukia whispered. A tear slipped down her cheek, but she barely felt it.

"You were very brave and you did the right thing, Rukia," Miyako said and smiled at her. "Thank you."

A second tear fell.

"Uhm..." Rukia blinked a few times, her head completely empty of words.

Kaien gave her his usual cocky grin.

"'Uhm'? That all you've got to say to us?"

Rukia smiled and then she started laughing even though more tears escaped her eyes. She flung herself into Kaien-dono's arms, feeling his chest heave with laughter and then Miyako's hand resting gently on her head.

\- o -

The mother and daughter beamed happily as they stared at the small TV screen on the counter, mopping their tears with tissues.

"So everyone's happy now - Ukitake, Rukia, Kuukaku, Ganju... and of course Kaien and Miyako," said the mother. "It's perfect!"

"Er... you do realise that Ukitake's current Third Seat Officers Kiyone Kotetsu and Sentarō Kotsubaki will likely be demoted back to Fourth Seat position now that Miyako's back, don't you?" asked the daughter.

"I'm sure they won't mind," said the mother blithely.

"Well, you're probably right. Let's see who's next on the list," said the daughter and they both looked at the list taped to the counter.

"Speak of the sweetie!" they said in unison and squealed happily.

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Can you guess who the next character is? Or even if you can't, please leave us a review :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Author Notes:** Hello everyone! This happens during the final arc of Bleach, which sadly has not been animated up til now.

Yup, my daughter and I were finally forced to turn to the manga after being pampered by the pretty artwork, fantastic voices and great soundtrack of the anime :p It was a good thing we only started on Bleach this year so we didn't have to tear our hair out waiting for new episodes/chapters to be released! We still hope the powers-that be-will animate the final arc of Bleach. If Tite Kubo decides to show us what happened in the 10 missing years, all the better LOL Anyway, enjoy this chapter :)

 **General Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOCness.

 **Chapter Warnings:** Spoilers for chapters 616  & 617.

 **Appreciation:** Kudos to **Zaraki Jaegerjaquez** who correctly guessed this chapter's character.

 **Rating:** 'T'

 **Character:** Juushiro Ukitake

\- Chapter Start -

A pair of brown eyes opened and blinked. Juushiro Ukitake sat up, looking at the thick white mist surrounding him with resignation.

He didn't regret sacrificing his life, not when the destruction of the Soul King had put the very existence of the many worlds in danger, including Soul Society. The only way to stabilise the situation was to release the right arm of the Soul King; the ancient Demon God Mimihagi which had resided in Juushiro's body ever since he was three, keeping him alive.

Despite his weakened condition, frequent dizzy spells and occasional coughing up of blood, he still believed he had lived a good long life. He had managed to support his many younger siblings, become a Shinigami and even Captain of the Thirteen Division of the Gotei 13. Now that he was dead, he would even get to see his old sensei again, the late Captain Commander Yamamoto who had fallen in battle very recently.

Standing up, Juushiro looked down at himself. His white haori was pristine and he felt wonderful. The permanent pain in his chest was finally gone... only to be replaced by another sort of ache when he remembered all the close friends he was leaving behind.

First and foremost of course, was his oldest and dearest friend, Shuunsui Kyoraku, newly elected Captain Commander, and the best candidate to take over the role, in Juushiro's opinion. Too bad he hadn't had the opportunity to congratulate him or to wish him farewell.

Then there was his Lieutenant, Kaien Shiba, and Third Seat Miyako. Both were miraculously brought back to life around two years ago and until now, still refused to tell anyone how. Kaien was a very capable lieutenant with a down to earth attitude that had won him the respect and love of everyone in the Thirteen Division. He would make a great Captain.

Juushiro would also miss everyone in their division, the rest of the Gotei 13, Ichigo Kurosaki and his friends. He would also miss feeding the carp in the pond and tending to his bonsai plants.

Bowing his head, he whispered a final farewell to everyone and wished them victory in the ongoing war. When he looked up again, the mist was clearing. He was standing on a path which led to a small hut in the distance.

\- o -

At the single knock on the door, the two females behind the counter sucked in a deep breath and looked at each other with huge shiny eyes.

"It's him!" squealed the daughter.

"Come in!" squealed the mother.

The door opened to reveal a tall thin man in Shinigami robes and a white Captain's haori. He had waist long white hair, brown eyes and a sweet expression.

"Hello. I'm Juushiro Ukitake, Captain of the Thirteenth Division of the Gotei 13," he introduced himself in a polite tone. "Pleased to meet you two."

"Are you a sight for sore eyes, love! Come in, come in!" urged the older female.

"Don't scare him off, mother," said the younger.

Juushiro walked in, glancing around at the otherwise barren hut before realising the two females were still staring at him with heart shaped eyes. He gave a cough. Oh, it was _nice_ to be able to do that without feeling like a lung was about to pop out.

The two females blinked and shook themselves.

"Why don't you come right up here, love," trilled the mother, patting the counter top in front of her.

Juushiro came closer and hoped she didn't mean for him to hop up there.

"So..." he began.

"Oh, you don't need to know who we are," said the mother hastily.

"Or where this place is," added the daughter. "By the way, you have the loveliest eyes."

"And the silkiest hair," added the mother, one hand reaching out.

Juushiro took a prudent step back and the mother pouted.

"So, why am I here?" he asked.

"To give you an opportunity to go back," replied the daughter.

Juushiro's eyes widened in shock.

"Is that possible? How?"

"Never mind how," said the mother, "just know that you can."

"And you want to, don't you?" prompted the daughter.

"If it won't undermine my sacrifice then yes, of course," Juushiro replied.

"Don't worry, that won't change," the mother assured him.

"Not that it helped in the end," muttered the daughter.

"What?!"

"Nothing!"

"Nothing at all!"

Juushiro stared at the two sweatdropping females and then something clicked in his mind.

"Wait - you wouldn't happened to have brought back other Shinigami from Soul Society, would you?"

The two females glanced at each other and gave conspiratorial grins.

"We may have," said the mother.

"But we can't say anything more than that, sorry," added the daughter.

Juushiro immediately made a mental note to have a private talk with Kaien Shiba the moment he got back. As soon as the war was over, that is. And after giving Shuunsui a great big hug just because he could... why hadn't he done that in past several centuries?

"So, you agree to go back?" prompted the mother with a wide grin as if she could read his thoughts.

"Everyone will be so happy if you do," prompted the daughter with another wide smile.

"Especially a certain someone who has just been made the Captain Commander," hinted the mother.

"That's because they're _best friends_ , mother," stated the daughter, rolling her eyes.

"And they would make a _lovely_ coup-"

"Do you have any other questions, Captain Ukitake?" the daughter interrupted in a loud voice.

"We're not - I mean to say - that is, my lungs - I sacrificed them to save the Soul King so my body won't be able to survive."

"No worries!" The daughter thumped a glass jar of little pink balls onto the counter and took out two of them.

"Peach pills, a cure all for any injuries sustained just before you came here, whether as minor as a paper cut or as major as turning into a bloodstain, having your lungs sacrificed to a weird hand god-thing or losing said lungs. These will create a new body for you so you'll finally be rid of your long lasting illness."

"About time too, suffering for so long," added the mother. "Now you'll finally be able to chase after Shunsui."

The daughter face palmed while Juushiro almost choked on the pills he was swallowing.

"By the way, what about Captain Commander Yamamoto?" he asked. "Did he come here? Is it possible to-"

"Sorry, he didn't come here so we couldn't help him," said the mother with an apologetic smile.

"Besides, he's lived an even longer life than you have," chirped the daughter rather unhelpfully.

"Ah."

"Anyway, you're all good to go. Just note there's been a small time skip so the war against the Quincy King is over," said the mother.

"And you'll find out what happened when you go back," added the daughter and waved a hand at a door marked Exit.

"Have a great life, but don't tell anyone about us," added the mother.

"I won't. Thank you so much for this opportunity."

"Wait - before you go," chorused the two females in unison, sporting beseeching looks and hands clasped beneath their chins.

"Yes?"

"Maywepleasetouchyourlovelyhairprettypleasewithazanpakutoontop?"

Juushiro's eyebrows drew together in a perplexed frown.

"Why would you want to do that?"

"We just want to," said the mother.

"Pretty please?" asked the daughter.

Juushiro smiled and approached the counter, bringing his long hair over both shoulders and bending forward.

"Ooh, thank you, love" said the mother as she touched the long silver strands with trembling fingers. "So, so lovely."

"You're right, mother," chirped the daughter as she leaned forward and did the same thing. "So pretty and soft!"

"Uhm, thank you." Juushiro quickly backed away towards the Exit door, gave a final bow and left.

\- o -

Juushiro opened his eyes to find himself staring up at leafy branches. He sat up and noted he was lying on a bench. The surroundings seemed familiar, but he couldn't place his finger on the exact spot although he was sure it was somewhere in Seireitei.

Then he heard a familiar voice speaking in low tones and smelled the unmistakable aroma of sake... and was immediately overwhelmed by a sense of nostalgia made up of thousands of idyllic afternoons spent with a certain someone.

Looking around, he caught sight of a flash of pink - Shuunsui was a few feet in front of him, kneeling before a tombstone with sake cup in hand.

"Now that the war is finally over, we can start rebuilding Seireitei. How I wish you were still here with us... with me, Ukitake."

Juushiro felt his heart lurch when he realised who that tombstone was for. He stood up and approached the Captain Commander on silent feet, his throat tight and his heart so full he couldn't say a word.

There was a gasp from somewhere to his right and he saw Nanao Ise staring at him, her eyes wide behind her glasses, a hand pressed to her mouth. Putting a finger to his lips, Juushiro smiled at her and took a few more steps, his other hand reaching for Shuunsui's shoulder.

It never reached it. Shuunsui jumped up and spun around in a heartbeat, sake cup flying, one hand closing over Juushiro's wrist in a vice-like grip.

Juushiro smiled at his oldest and dearest friend's stunned face.

"I think it's time you called me Juushiro," he said and laughed when Shuunsui threw his arms around him in a hug that knocked all the breath from his perfectly functioning lungs.

By the time the hug finally ended and they turned to Nanao, she was crying tears of joy.

\- o -

The mother and daughter sobbed happily as they stared at the small TV screen on the counter, pulling tissues like there was no tomorrow.

"Best reunion ever," sighed the mother. "Now if only they had kissed."

The daughter just heaved a long suffering sigh and shook her head.

"Let's see who's next on the list," she said and they both looked at the list taped to the counter.

"Oh, we've come to the last character already," said the mother and grinned.

"You're not going to talk to her of babies, are you?" asked the daughter suspiciously when the mother's grin widened.

"Of course I will! She died after five years of marriage without giving him any heirs so they'll have to make up for lost time, won't they?"

The daughter sighed and shrugged.

"Oh well, it would be nice to see him smile for once," she agreed.

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Can you guess who the next character is? Or even if you can't, please leave us a review :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Author Notes:** Hello again, everyone! We are coming to the end of this series. Enjoy this next chapter :)

 **General Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOCness.

 **Chapter Warnings:** Spoilers for Episode 62 (Gather Together! Group of the Strongest Shinigami)  & the Fade to Black movie.

 **Appreciation:** Kudos to **Mistress 0f Dragons** for correctly guessing this chapter's character. We hope we've met all your expectations for fluff :)

 **Character:** Hisana Kuchiki

\- Chapter Start -

A pair of big purple eyes opened and looked around. Hisana sat up with a gasp, looking at the thick white mist surrounding her. She knew she had died - for the second time - but where was she now?

She got to her feet, feeling more energetic and healthier than she could remember. Yet that familiar pain of guilt and regret still remained in her chest, a reminder of the responsibility she had cast aside, a mission left incomplete...

"Forgive me, Rukia," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. "I wasn't able to find you even after five years of searching. I'm so sorry."

... and a love she had left behind.

"Byakuya-sama, forgive me too. I gave you an extra burden to carry after you found me and cared for me. I hope you haven't been grieving too much. Please find someone else to share your life with, someone who will give you all the happiness you deserve. And Rukia, I have no doubt you will soon be under Byakuya-sama's protection. Please listen to him, he will take good care of you. I wish... oh, how I wish...

Hisana hid her face in her hands and wept for all the things she hadn't accomplished - finding the younger sister she had abandoned, spending a lifetime with her beloved husband and bearing his children.

It was a long time before she exhausted her tears and realised no amount of crying would help.

"If I'm ever given the chance to be your older sister again, Rukia, I will never abandon you, but will love and protect you always. And Byakuya-sama, if our paths should cross again, I promise I will never leave you."

Wiping her face, Hisana saw she was standing on a path that led to a small hut in the distance. She took a deep breath and released it, shoulders squaring. It was time to find out how long she needed to atone before qualifying for reincarnation. She started walking towards the hut with her head held high.

\- o -

At the gentle knock on the door, the two females behind the counter exchanged excited smiles.

"It's her," said the mother.

"Come in," called the daughter.

The door opened to reveal a petite female with dark hair and huge purple eyes.

"Hello. I am Hisana Kuchiki. Pleased to meet you."

"Hello, Hisana. Come in, love," said the mother.

"Pleased to meet you too," said the daughter.

Hisana entered the hut and approached the counter, looking around her.

"Where is this place?" she asked.

"That's not important, dear," said the mother. "I'll tell you what's important - just how good a kisser is Bya-"

"Hem hem!" The daughter cleared her throat loudly. "That's not important either, mother."

"Of course it is."

The daughter shook her head and smiled at Hisana.

"What is important is that we are giving you an opportunity to go on living."

Hisana's eyes widened in shock, her heart skipping a beat. She rushed up to the counter, causing the mother and daughter to lean back.

"Oh my, what big eyes you have," said the mother with a feeble chuckle.

"Wrong fairytale, mother."

"It was just an observation."

"Wait - are you sure I can go back? When? How?" Hisana's words tumbled over one another.

"Never mind how," said the mother, "just know that you can. And as soon as you're ready."

"But it feels like I died some time ago."

"You're right. Fifty two years have passed since then," replied the daughter in a matter of fact voice.

"Fifty two years?" Hisana echoed, stunned.

The mother and daughter nodded solemnly.

"What about Rukia? Is she - oh, excuse me. Rukia is ... well, it's a long story, but Rukia is-"

"Is your _imouto_ ," said the mother. "We know _that_ story."

"We know everything," added the daughter.

Hisana stared at them, her cheeks growing hot with shame.

"Then you also know how I... how I abandoned her?" she asked in a small voice.

When the mother and daughter nodded again, Hisana bowed her head.

"Where is she now? Is she with Bya- I mean, part of the Kuchiki clan?"

"Yes, Byakuya found her a year after you died and immediately adopted her as his younger sister."

Hisana clasped her hands and gave a little laugh, half relieved, half embarrassed.

"It took him only a year?"

"I know, right?" said the mother, leaning forward. "He should've taken over the search immediately!"

"Oh, but he was-"

"Then he could've found Rukia sooner and brought her to you," added the daughter.

"Oh, but it was my-"

"It took a toll on your health and it was painful to watch!" chorused both the mother and daughter together.

Hisana blinked at them.

"You... were there?" she asked uncertainly. "Is that how you knew everything?"

The mother and daughter blinked back at her. Then they sweatdropped and gave blinding grins.

"Oops. Forget what we said."

"It was Tite Kubo's fault, not yours."

Hisana blinked again.

"Who's Tite Kubo?"

"Don't break the fourth wall, daughter."

"Oops. Sorry, mother."

They both smiled at Hisana.

"Anyway, it's all water under the bridge so there's nothing anyone can do about it," said the mother, waving a hand.

"Except I want you both to know it was never Byakuya-sama's responsibility, but mine and mine alone," said Hisana in a firm voice. "He was busy with his own duties, but he always made sure I was never alone."

The mother and daughter stared at her and then they nodded approvingly,

"In any case, I'm so glad Byakuya-sama found Rukia," Hisana continued, "I know he will never let any harm come to her."

The mother and daughter both sweatdropped again.

"And how... how is he doing?" Hisana asked.

"Your darling Byakuya? Still utterly and completely devoted to your memory even after fifty two years," gushed the mother.

"He hasn't re-married or even looked at another woman," added the daughter with an approving nod.

"Hasn't smiled in all that time either."

"Just looks grumpy with a holier than thou attitude."

"And goes to the Kuchiki family shrine to talk to your photo almost everyday."

Hisana's eyes filled with tears and she felt that same sweet pang in her chest. She was torn between happiness and pride and guilt.

"Oh, Byakuya-sama," she murmured. "So he's... not remarried then?"

The mother and daughter shook their heads.

"Not married."

"Nor looked at another female."

"Nor smiled."

"Just looks grumpy."

"And talks to your photo."

A tear slipped down Hisana's cheek, and then another.

The mother and daughter exchanged a sly look.

"He did tell Rukia about you being her older sister though," tattled the mother.

"So you have every right to be angry with him," prompted the daughter in a hopeful voice.

Hisana shook her head at once.

"Oh, I could _never_ be angry with Byakuya-sama," she said. "No matter what he did."

The mother and daughter both gave a sigh over that.

Hisana bit her lip.

"Does... does Rukia hate me then?"

"Of course not! She's fine with it, don't worry," reassured the mother.

"She's made of sterner stuff than that," said the daughter. "Spunky and courageous and talented and guess what, she's a Shinigami too!"

Hisana beamed with pride, her eyes gleaming with more unshed tears.

"I'm so relieved," she said. "And I'm proud of her."

"So are we, love," assured the mother.

"Anyway, enough sappiness. Back to our original question," said the daughter and dragged out a glass jar of little pink balls from under the counter. "Do you want to go back or not?"

"Wait - you mean I can? I really can go back?"

The mother and daughter nodded and offered the box of tissues as Hisana's tears started falling again.

"I can't believe it. I-I thought I would have to atone - yes! Yes, of course I want to go back. With all my heart!"

"Good girl," said the mother approvingly. "Although frankly, who _wouldn't_ want to go back if they're Byakuya's cherished wife? I'd take your place in a heartbeat, sister."

"Big surprise there," muttered the daughter and held out two of the little pink balls to Hisana.

"They're peach pills, a cure all for any injuries sustained just before you came here, whether as minor as a paper cut or as major as a life threatening illness. These will create a brand new, fit and healthy body for you."

Hisana swallowed the pills and bowed.

Thank you so much," she said.

"Now you can finally enjoy a long and happy life with your darling," said the mother, grinning widely, "and-"

"And be a big sister to Rukia," said the daughter hurriedly.

"-make babies! Make lots and lots of little Kuchikis!"

Hisana nodded, blushing so hard she felt her whole face was on fire. The daughter sighed and mumbled something under her breath as she kept back the glass jar.

"Well, let's not waste anymore time," said the mother briskly, waving a hand at the Exit door which swung open. "You've kept the poor man waiting for fifty over years as it is."

"Take good care of yourself and ignore any stuffy Kuchiki elder who looks down on you and Rukia, got that?" admonished the daughter.

"I will," Hisana promised, a hint of steel entering her eyes.

"And finally, don't tell anyone about us," added the mother.

"Not even your Byakuya-sama," said the daughter.

"Very well if I must. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I am very, very grateful." Hisana gave another low bow before going out the Exit door, a radiant smile on her face.

\- o -

Byakuya made his way to the family shrine before dinner. It was an almost daily ritual for him depending on his workload and missions. Some might consider it a burden, others an unnecessary obligation.

He found it peaceful, for speaking to Hisana - even her photo - never failed to centre his thoughts and calm him. He didn't know if it was her gentle eyes or her sweet smile or the fact that he was still in love with her, but he looked forward to the visit each time.

The only time he didn't was when Rukia was sentenced to be executed over two years ago, and he found his hands tied by his oath to his parents and his promise to Hisana.

Shaking off that memory, Byakuya entered the shrine and stopped before the shelves holding photographs of his parents, grandparents and other Kuchiki ancestors. As always, his gaze went straight to the photo in pride of place in the centre, surrounded by fresh flowers. He lit a joss stick and placed it in the holder, breathing in the familiar fragrance from the curling smoke as he gazed at Hisana's face.

"Good evening, Hisana. I have good news for you. Rukia was made co-Lieutenant of Squad Thirteen today."

A gentle pulse of reiatsu splintered his thoughts and he spun around, grey eyes widening in disbelief. The petite woman standing in the shadows took a step forward, allowing a ray of moonlight to fall on her face.

"That is wonderful news, Byakuya-sama."

"Hisana?" Byakuya stared at her. No, it couldn't be. He was dreaming. Imagining things. Hallucinating.

"Byakuya-sama." Hisana came forward, hands outstretched, eyes shining with love.

No. He wasn't dreaming or imagining or hallucinating. It _was_ her.

"Hisana!"

He was in front of her in an instant, his arms going around her and pulling her close. The shock of holding her, real and warm against his own body made him reel as he repeated her name over and over again.

Then he pulled back to look at her, seeing the tears running down her cheeks. Slowly, reverently, he framed her heart shaped face with trembling hands.

"How is this possible?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, Byakuya-sama," Hisana's voice shook. "I can't say."

"How?" Byakuya demanded, giving her a little shake.

"I'm so sorry, I promised I wouldn't."

Byakuya exhaled. It wasn't important. Not as important as her being here, with him.

"I have missed you," he said and kissed her.

A brief, soft kiss that tasted of the salt of both their tears, yet was still the sweetest one they had shared.

\- o -

Some time later, Hisana found herself on her husband's lap, her arms around his neck and his around her back. She had lost count of how many kisses they had shared, interspersed with Byakuya still wanting to know how she had come back and her apologising for not being able to tell him.

"Byakuya-sama, I hope you weren't too lonely after I died?"

He smiled into her eyes.

"Rest assured I never took another woman to my bed," he told her. She was his first and she would be his only.

Hisana's eyes filled with tears.

"I wouldn't hold it against you if you had, if only to relieve your loneliness," she said. "Besides, I did not give you heirs, and the elders must have pressured you."

Byakuya just shrugged, the twist of his mouth so familiar to her.

"Perhaps after a thousand years or so," he said. "But now that you're here, that point is moot, don't you think?"

He kissed her again, deeply this time, before breaking it with an 'Oh!' and an endearingly embarrassed look.

"What is it?"

"We're making out in the Kuchiki family shrine," he said solemnly.

"Oh!" Hisana's mouth dropped open in mortification. She tried to get up, arms flailing, but Byakuya's hands moved to her shoulders, keeping her in place.

"Byakuya-sama?"

He smiled, a rare and beautiful sight.

"But just in case Jii-sama still doesn't know you're back," he said and kissed her again.

When the kiss ended, he stood up with her in his arms and carried her down the corridor, ignoring her protests that she could walk. At the entrance to the main hall, they met two servants whose eyes looked ready to pop out from their heads when they saw their beloved mistress, flushed and smiling, in their master's arms.

"Hisana-sama!"

"This is a miracle!"

"Hisana-sama, you've come back to us!"

"Oh, Hisana-sama, we've missed-"

"I will hold an announcement tomorrow," Byakuya cut them off not unkindly. "Make sure Hisana-sama's rooms are clean and ready for her by tomorrow morning. Prepare a light supper and bring it to my rooms an hour from now."

"Y-yes, Kuchiki-sama!"

"Welcome back, Hisana-sama!"

With beaming smiles, the two servants dashed off to do their master's bidding... and to spread the happy news that their beloved Lady had returned.

\- o -

The mother and daughter stared at the small TV screen on the counter, the former squealing and mopping her tears and blowing her nose with countless tissues, and the latter just nodding.

"Such a perfect ending," sighed the mother.

"A bit too sappy if you ask me," said the daughter with a shrug. She looked at the list taped to the counter. "And we've come to the end of the list."

"There's always the epilogue, daughter."

"Oh yes. After all, there were so many familiar faces missing in the last chapter of the manga, right?"

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Hisana only appeared in flashbacks so we hope we didn't make her too OOC. We hope you've all been enjoying the ride. If you are, a review would be most appreciated :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Author Notes:** Hello, everyone! We've finished reviving all the characters who we feel didn't deserve to die, so enjoy the epilogue :)

 **General Warnings:** Parody, self-insert, tongue in cheek humour and OOCness.

 **Chapter Warnings:** Spoilers for the Quincy Blood War arc.

\- Chapter Start -

 _A few months after the Quincy Blood War..._

When Byakuya-nii-sama announced that he and Hisana-nee-san were going away for a second honeymoon, no one was happier for them than Rukia Kuchiki.

After helping Ichigo and friends defeat the Quincy King, achieving her Bankai, being promoted to co-Lieutenant of Squad Thirteen, and seeing ex-Captain Ukitake alive and in full health, being reunited with Hisana-nee-san was the icing on the cake.

And seeing her stern nii-sama smile for the first time in memory?

That was the cherry on top.

Rukia assured her older sister she bore her no ill will for abandoning her so many years ago. She was thrilled to see the deep love Hisana-nee-san and Byakuya-nii-sama had for each other. She couldn't help hoping that one day, she too, would have a love just as enduring... and if a certain red haired Lieutenant's face came to mind, she just smiled.

\- o -

 _A week later at Urahara's shop..._

"Yeah, my birthday is this Saturday," Ichigo replied. "Why?"

Rukia gave a sunny smile.

"Byakuya-nii-sama and Hisana-nee-san will return this Sunday. We can hold your birthday party the day before."

"Nah, that's not necessary," Ichigo vetoed. His birthday celebrations usually consisted of a fast food lunch with his friends and his favourite dish for dinner, courtesy of Yuzu.

Rukia's smile grew bigger.

"Oh, but it's a _must,_ Ichigo. I insist!"

Ichigo sighed.

"Come over to my place for dinner then. Yuzu won't mind cooking extra," he offered and nodded to the others. "You guys are welcome too."

"Oh no no no, that won't do at all," Rukia said, still with that wide smile on her face.

Ichigo frowned in puzzlement, but Ishida cleared his throat, nudging his glasses higher up.

"Kuchiki-san, are you by any chance planning to hold a birthday party for Kurosaki _at_ Kuchiki Manor in Seireitei, _without_ your brother's knowledge?" he asked, straight to the point.

Rukia nodded excitedly, large purple eyes sparkling.

"What?" Ichigo exclaimed.

Orihime started laughing, Chad nodded and even Ishida had to crack a small smile.

"That's a great idea!" Yoruichi exclaimed, grinning widely.

Ichigo shook his head, suspecting she meant the part where Byakuya Kuchiki would be excluded, rather than the idea of the actual party itself.

"Great, so it's settled then," Rukia said.

"Wait, don't you think-" Ichigo began.

"I've already informed the Women's Shinigami Association to send out invites so you'll see everyone there," Rukia said briskly and got up to leave. "Excuse me, I have preparations to make."

"Then why did you bother asking me?" Ichigo demanded. "It sounds like you've already planned everything!"

Renji chuckled and clapped Ichigo on the shoulder before getting up as well.

"You know what she's like," he said, giving her a fond glance.

Ichigo pretended not to see that, sighing as he eyed the excited faces around him. He turned to Urahara who already looked like he knew what Ichigo was going to say.

"Urahara-san, could you do that spirit exchanger thingy to allow Karin and Yuzu into Seireitei this Saturday?"

"Of course, Kurosaki-san," Urahara promised with a smile.

\- o -

Saturday dawned bright and clear in Karakura Town as well as Seireitei. It was the perfect day for an outdoor barbeque.

Ichigo and his family and friends arrived at Seireitei at around four in the afternoon. Isshin invited himself 'since Yoruichi and Urahara were invited and Yuzu won't be around to cook me dinner' and offered to take his excited daughters on a tour around the place. Ichigo just rolled his eyes and reminded them to be careful since repairs were still being carried out.

Kon, Ririn, Korudo and Noba came along as well. Kon had ditched his old yellow lion plushie as soon as Urahara gave him a brand new gigai some weeks back. It looked remarkably similar to Ichigo except with blond hair and light brown eyes. Kon had been worried about Nozomi's reaction to his new appearance, but she had given her immediate approval which was good since they were dating. With Nozomi's current job as guardian Shinigami of Karakura Town, the two of them could and did meet very often.

The large grounds of Kuchiki Manor was a hive of activity with picnic mats set out on the grass. To one side were long tables set out with food and drink, and nearby were barbeque pits where various meats were being roasted.

Rukia ran out of the house to greet them. She was dressed in a light purple flowered kimono instead of her usual black Shinigami robes, a sight that made Renji's eyes warm with admiration.

"Happy Birthday, Ichigo," she said, "and hello, everyone!"

\- o -

Byakuya stopped walking when he felt the mass of reiatsu in the general direction of his home.

"Byakuya-sama, is anything wrong?" Hisana asked. They were due to return tomorrow, but her morning sickness - she was in the early stages of pregnancy - prompted them to return home a day early.

In answer, Byakuya tightened his hand around hers and _shunpo'd_ them to a nearby hilltop overlooking his home. The gardens were not empty as he had expected, but filled with people. The air was full of chatter, laughter and the delicious aroma of roasting meat.

"I didn't know there was a party at our home," Hisana said happily, not in the least bit fazed by the unexpected sight.

"So it would seem," Byakuya replied, swallowing his initial furious retort.

He looked around again, slate grey eyes narrowing at a large group of people seated beside the _koi_ pond. Amongst them was the orange of Kurosaki's hair, the light brown of Inoue's along with Yasutora and Ishida's dark heads, and the unmistakable red of Renji's. Focusing on that group, he sensed two other reiatsu that felt similar to Ichigo's - his two _imouto_ , perhaps?

Lips tightening, Byakuya looked around, recognising various members of the Gotei 13. There was what looked like half of Squad Eleven bickering over one of the roasting lambs, no doubt wanting to have the entire animal all to themselves. The other half seemed to be engaged in minor squabbles here and there. They had better not damage any of his precious trees or flowering shrubs, and heaven help them if he found a single _koi_ missing.

Halfway along the bridge spanning the pond stood the pink kimono clad figure of Captain Commander Kyoraku with Special Advisor Ukitake beside him, no doubt enjoying sake and one of their usual chit chats. At one foot of the bridge was Nanao, keeping a vigilant eye on the two while conversing with her co-Lieutenant of Squad One.

Byakuya turned his head and saw another group of people seated on a hill furthest away from the house. Casting a huge shadow on the grass was the hulking form of Komamura. Beside him sat Iba, Hisagi, Kira, Matsumoto, Hitsugaya, Hinamori and - wait.

Byakuya's eyes narrowed still further.

Kaname Tousen and Gin Ichimaru.

Those two traitors had been spirited away from Central 46 on the day of their sentencing two years ago. Where had they been hiding all this while, and what the hell were they doing here now _on his grounds?_

"Well, well, well! Fancy seeing you here, Byakuya-bou," said an all too familiar voice in his ear.

Byakuya whipped his head to the side, cursing himself for letting down his guard.

Yoruichi stood there, golden eyes twinkling merrily.

"Did I catch you off guard again?" she teased. "You were frowning so fiercely! Tell me, were the _koi_ in the pond swimming out of line? Was the grass on the lawn growing at different heights?"

As Byakuya ground his perfect teeth together - was the were-cat behind this party? - Yoruichi turned to Hisana and hugged her.

"Hisana, my dear, you look radiant!"

"Thank you. It's good to see you again, Yoruichi."

"Byakuya-bou must've given you one hell of a honeymoon, eh?" Yoruichi said with a saucy wink that made Hisana blush and Byakuya bristle.

"That is none of your-"

"Kisuke," Yoruichi interrupted him cheerfully, turning to the shopkeeper who had just materialised beside her. "I told you Byakuya-bou would be homesick and return early, didn't I?"

"You are right as usual, Yoruichi-san. Captain Kuchiki, since you and your lovely wife are here, you might as well join in the fun. We are celebrating Ichigo Kurosaki's eighteenth birthday. There's a lot of food to go around and everything is superb! But of course you already know that, don't you?"

The two of them laughed and excused themselves, disappearing in a flit of _shunpo_ and reappearing beside Ichigo's group.

With a sniff, Byakuya turned to see two servants trekking up the hill towards Komamura's group, bearing food and drinks. Before he could take a step forward, Hisana's fingers tightened around his and he paused to look down at her.

"Byakuya-sama, I can't imagine coming home to a happier sight than this," she said, smiling. "Our family and our friends together, laughing and celebrating. It gladdens my heart."

Byakuya found his annoyance dissipating immediately. The somber mood that had blanketed Kuchiki Manor for the past fifty years had finally lifted thanks to Hisana's miraculous return. His home was a happy place more once and the servants went about their duties with smiling faces. Byakuya himself was happier than his first few years of marriage, for Hisana was no longer burdened with finding Rukia while battling poor health.

"It's all because of the one they call Ichigo, isn't it?" Hisana continued. "I would very much like to meet him."

Byakuya raised her hand to his lips and pressed a loving kiss to her knuckles.

"It is, and you shall. Right now."

With that, he s _hunpo'd_ both of them over to Ichigo's group, taking satisfaction in seeing the shocked expressions on everyone's faces - particularly Rukia's - at their sudden appearance.

"Nii-sama! Nee-san!"

Rukia recovered admirably in seconds, embracing Hisana warmly before introducing Ichigo to her.

Byakuya wasn't surprised when Ichigo jumped to his feet to give Hisana a formal if slightly awkward bow, remarked on how much she resembled Rukia and addressed her respectfully as 'Hisana-san'. Just like he wasn't surprised when he was greeted in turn with the usual 'Hey, Byakuya!'

\- o -

 _An hour later..._

After a delicious meal of grilled fish and milk, Yoruichi walked around, enjoying the evening sun on her back and the ticklish grass beneath her paws. The lanterns hanging in the trees and the bridge had just been switched on, turning the Kuchiki grounds into a colourful wonderland.

Her ears twitched at snatches of conversations as she leisurely wound her way past the various groups of people. She glanced back to where Ichigo and his friends sat. Her younger brother Yushiro had fully recovered from the grave injuries inflicted by that Quincy Askin and had pestered her to bring him along. Ichigo's younger sisters were quite taken with him, plying him with equal amounts of food and questions.

Yoruichi walked past a tipsy Ikkaku who was teasing an increasingly flustered Yumichika about how he was willing to use his real Shikai to defend him against Toushiro during the war. The zombified Captain had put an end to that with a vicious slash across Yumichika's chest, but Ikkaku insisted it was the thought that counted.

Chuckling to herself - who knew that Ikkaku was 'playful' when sake was involved - Yoruichi walked past Captain Kaien Shiba and wife Miyako Shiba who was co-Lieutenant of Squad Thirteen together with Rukia. Kaien had reluctantly agreed to step up as Captain when Ukitake sacrificed himself during the Quincy Blood War. Yoruichi was there when Ukitake appeared at Squad Thirteen's barracks with Captain Commander Kyoraku beside him. Ukitake had received his squad's stunned amazement and noisy tears of welcome with his usual aplomb, laughingly refused to take back his old position despite Kaien's vehement protests, and assured him he would make a fine captain.

Smiling at the memory, Yoruichi made her way up the hillside and sat down on her haunches beside Iba. She nodded at Hinamori who was sitting very close to Hitsugaya - practically on the skirt of his captain's haori although the two of them pretended not to notice... such adorable children!

Rangiku and Ichimaru were sitting just as close with Ichimaru's arm around her shoulders and his previous mocking, snake-like smile replaced by a serious expression. The two were inseparable now and Hitsugaya had resigned himself to approving his Lieutenant's frequent trips to the Real World if it didn't interfere with her other duties, namely the paperwork which she detested.

Yoruichi was amused to note that Iba was looking rather put out, but whether it was because of how close Komamura, Tousen and Hisagi were sitting together, or because the _dojo_ Tousen and Ichimaru had set up in Karakura Town was doing very well, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that after Yamamoto's death, Tousen and Hisagi had somehow managed to persuade Komamura not to seek out his great grandfather to become more powerful. It was a good thing as Komamura's werewolf clan had a secret that would have ended his career as Captain.

Standing up, Yoruichi gave a luxurious full body stretch before looking around for Kisuke. That man had a lap like no other and his hands knew exactly where she liked to be stroked and petted.

Too bad he was nowhere to be found now. No matter, she would seek him out later. For now, Yoruichi went to curl up under a nearby tree for her evening snooze. It was a comfortable spot, but the most comforting thing of all was the peace that enveloped the Kuchiki grounds and the happy chatter all around her.

STORY END

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! The manga didn't show how several key characters fared after the Quincy Blood War so we hope we've managed to tie up all the loose ends and that you've enjoyed our zany, tongue-in-cheek humour. Please review :)


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